...you habitually bang a child's head on a car doorframe and have never once gotten in trouble with the law.
...you've ever eaten food that's been in someone else's mouth, or fed someone else food that's been in yours.
...you've ever thought, Wooooah, that's some hiiigh quality stuuff! about bubble soap.
...your go-to shower song goes like this: "Cebuuuuuuuu!"
...you've ever taken a diaper off a kid, decided there wasn't enough pee in it, and put it right back on.
...you've ever taken a diaper off a kid, scraped the turds into the toilet, and put it right back on. (OK that's really mostly cloth diapers. Don't try this in my home, babysitters!)
...Mama Bear comes out with claws if anyone else upsets your kid, but you yourself will gladly make her scream bloody murder to get a cute bow into her hair.
..."I'm sorry" and "Excuse me" are always the first words you learn in any new country you travel to.
...you've ever laughed until you cried...about poop.
...you know 101 uses for a clean diaper. (e.g. padding for a spare camera lens, trash receptacle, wipe for yucky hands, head shade for a sunny diaper change, head pillow for a diaper change, toy, protector of fragile things in your suitcase, wrapper for dirty diaper...)
...you didn't notice and are not now bothered by the fact that so much of these posts are about bodily fluids, excrement, and diapers.